Frank the Ferret’s Fantastic Fiasco

I AM FRANK! The ferret.

(audible sarcasm) Love the introduction Frank.

Once upon a time, there was a ferret named Frank. The End.

Frank, you need to tell a story. Elaborate.

Once upon a second time, there was a ferret named Frank. He was evil and wanted to take over the world using evil chocolate chip cookies. The End.

MORE FRANK, MORE! Also, you didn’t take over the world using evil chocolate chip cookies.

Once upon a third time, there was a ferret named Frank. He decided to finally tell a good story.

It all started on February 29th. The day Frank was born. The End.

UUUGGGHHH!!!!!

Fine, I’ll fix it. Once upon a fourth time it was a day, THE DAY, February 29th. The problem with February 29th was… it only exists every four years. So, while all the other ferrets got to celebrate each year, Frank didn’t. (By the way I am Frank (the ferret)).

And I am the editor who is correcting Frank’s writing.

Annoyed by constant birthdays that Frank didn’t get to celebrate (since February 29th is my very important birthday), he decided to make February 29th a normal day in the calendar and turn April 30th into the new leap day. Because my birthday is more important than anybody’s whose is on April 30th.

Frank, you can’t say stuff like that! It’s very mean.

He was also going to turn it into a national holiday in honor of himself, Frank. And become king of the world.

So Frank set out to take over the world! (using evil chocolate chip cookies)

There were no evil chocolate chip cookies.

Yes there were! Anyway, Frank bribed very important people with cookies to change the calendar.

You can’t just skip around Frank. How did you even meet these “important people.”

Weeeell, I traveled to…somewhere. There was lots of snow, it was scawy.

Use real words Frank.

NO! THERE WAS SNOW EVWYWHERE!!!

They’re we’re…we’re…WERE (stupid autocorrect) lots of important people in the snow place. So, I bribed them with cookies to change the calendar. Yeah! THE END!

Frank?

Yes.

What about the rest of the world?

Oh yeah! Seeeee…the important people told more important people who told more important people who told even more important people. So yeah! Oh and I also bribed them with cookies. WORLD DOMINATION ACHIEVED!!!

Oh, Frank. (very exaggerated sigh)

I will now be referred to as King Frank of the Cookies thank you very much!

Oh, great!

ahem

Sorry, King Frank of the Cookies.

Much better.

(silence)

P.S. – i broke into their houses and i stole the cookies back and then i ate them

Frank! Have you ever heard of capitalization, grammar, punctuation, and kindness!

nope